Two Voices, One Mission: A New Vision for Supporting Grandfamilies

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Have you ever met someone that you immediately feel there's a high level of connection to the point that you ask yourself, maybe we're supposed to collaborate together? Well, Craig, you took the words right. Out of my mouth. And in this episode, you'll hear the story of how two podcasters from different parts of the country, both grandparents raising grandchildren, were brought together by a shared mission. We get vulnerable about the moments our lives changed forever, the walls we've hit when we thought we couldn't go on, and the faith that gives us the strength to turn our pain into purpose. This is more than just an interview.

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It's the beginning of a new journey and we invite you to join us.

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Welcome to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Nurturing Through Adversity. In this podcast, we we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of grandparents raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of childrearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.

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We'll discuss how we can change the course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and and struggles. This podcast was made especially for you.

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Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.

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What you're about to hear is more. Than just a single conversation.

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It's the culmination of many conversations Craig Nash and I have had since we first connected. Those talks have inspired us to create an exciting new vision for a combined podcast and today we want to share that vision with you.

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Our shared purpose is clear. To be a light in the darkness and provide tangible support to grandparents raising grandchildren in need. To empower grandparents by providing both practical wisdom and tangible financial support.

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To do this, we're joining forces and restructuring our shows around three key pillars. You'll hear inspiring co hosted conversations like the one today.

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We'll continue to bring you expert interviews to provide you with the best resources. And in a very exciting new development, we'll be sharing impact stories. I'm so excited to be helping Craig and his team help more grandparents directly through the Grand Fund, which provides financial assistance to grand families in need. We'll be sharing the stories of the families we support so you can see the real world difference this community is making.

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Through it all, our aim is to bless your family and foster a community focused on building a legacy of resilience, true identity and and purpose.

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This is the start of a new chapter for all of us. I hope you'll stay tuned for more.

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Hello, my name is Craig Nash. I'd like to welcome you to another It's a Grand Life. And I want to ask you, friends, you ever meet someone that you immediately feel there's a high level of connection to the point that you ask yourself, maybe we're supposed to collaborate together. Well, that's how I felt the first time I met our guest today, Laura Brazan. And Laura is an incredible artist, a master engraver. She's done a million different jobs at a very high level, including non profit fundraising and counseling to folks in the field that are wrestling with very tough issues.

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And she also has a podcast, I think you'd like the name of it. It's called Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Might sound familiar to you, but, but she is our guest today and we're just, just so excited to have her and can't wait to see where this goes in the future. But I think you're really going to enjoy her insight into the challenges that we go through as parents and grandparents or grandparents who become parents. And Laura, thank you so much for joining us here. And it's a Grand Life. And I can't wait to see where this discussion goes. We've been talking off and on for the past couple weeks and absolutely love the work you're doing. And it's very exciting to hear your podcast and to listen to the guests that you have on. And if you're listening to this today, I want to encourage you to go to her podcast, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, and you'll absolutely be blessed. So Laura, welcome to It's a Grand Life. Thank you. It's an honor and a pleasure. Craig, we had quite a few conversations about some of the issues that are facing the kids that we raised specifically.

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But this whole climate out there, there's a lot of trauma out there in the grandparent arena, especially those raising their grandkids.

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There's a lot of issues with our kids and we are, and it just, we, we, our hearts go out to them. But one of the things that you and I were talking about earlier, which I thought was really, really interesting, was this idea of helping these kids know their true identity. And, and I talked to you about some of that. I'd spent a lot of time listening to. I still get training with Jamie and Donna Winship and that really resonated with you. The, the, the, the Training and going through, watching some of their podcasts. Why was that?

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Well, I kind of feel like they had put words to thoughts that have been on my mind for years now.

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Absolutely, it was. That's what I. My. The impression I got when you were talking is like, she sounds like she's gone through all this training I've gone through, but she hasn't even met the guy yet. And. But our beloved higher power or God has been speaking to both of us in different parts of the world, in fact. Where are you located, by the way?

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How many states are you in, Loras? Well, we recently relocated to Louisiana to be closer to my husband's family. He has a big family and to get help and support from these grandchildren that we've been raising for three and a half years. I previously was in Montana, and we still have land up there where two of my children and several of my other grandchildren still are. And we. We had married six years ago. We've been together for longer than that. And when we were deciding where to settle after we married, we found some land and built our retirement home up there.

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A very small place that was easy to take care of on a river. Kind of imagine river runs through y. 250 acres of wilderness on one side, 350 on the other side, up by the Canadian border, 45 minutes from both of my daughters. And that was the plan.

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That's a good. And then it was a good plan.

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I thought we did a good job of that. And then we got a call when we were on vacation out of the country, and that had been.

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My husband had lost his wife to cancer, and I'd been a single mother for 10 years, and both of us had wanted to travel. Once my youngest had graduated and gone into college, I had planned on doing some traveling and so had he. So we were abroad and he got a call one night that the children were in protective.

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His two grandchildren were in protective custody. Now my two grandchildren. And.

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And I said, well, well, child Protective services was going to put them into a foster care system the next day if we didn't agree to take them because we were their only family that could take them legally right away. And. And me being a get her done kind of girl, I just said, well, let's go get him. We gotta leave. We're not gonna finish this vacation.

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And you were. Were you overseas when this happened? We were overseas and said, yeah, on a beach.

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And my husband's. My husband just looked at me and said, no way. My. I took care of my ailing wife for five years. I finally found love again. And we're not going back to raise two kids. That's not the plan. And I got very quiet. And anyway, I don't know what if you want me to get deep into the story or flashback to where we are right now. But the plan changed. Yep.

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And my husband didn't want to go with the plan, and I got very upset about that. The next morning I woke up with tears in my coffee saying, we just have to go.

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We have to go. We can't let these kids go into the foster care system.

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And so of course, we went and rescued them. And we. I had no clue what we were getting ourselves into. These kids have been abused.

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They were. They mother had done drugs in utero.

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One child has cognitive behavior disorder, both have adhd. There's all kinds of learning problems there. And I thought if I brought them home to this warm, safe home with two people that love them, that all of a sudden their problems would be solved. And we take care of these two beautiful kids, you know? Well, as everybody knows out there, that's not what happens. So here we are. Now, I've left the place I lived for 47 years, my community, my friends, my kids, everything to be here. But I said. I said, okay, if this is what you want, God, I'm going to make sure that you make this very clear. And I make it very clear to you, these are the terms under which I'm willing to move. Well, we know we have an amazing guy. And you're in Louisiana now, and I'm in Louisiana now.

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What I like about your story is that. And I really am looking forward to meeting your husband because you both have both sides of the coin. He's given you the real world that we all feel like, oh, Lord have mercy. I've worked my whole life. I'm ready to retire.

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I'm ready to be on the golf course. You hear all these commercials about, oh, yeah, when you retire, you just got to plan it the way you want it, blah, blah, blah. And then. But the gospel, what really happens is how you thought about it, how my wife would think about it, and how we men came around to it. There's the, we can't leave these kids high and dry. And if we're the only ones, come hell or high water, we're going to be there. We're going to leave the beach, we're going to be down there, and God's got a plan, and it's just going to come to fruition. And then so you did the right thing and your husband came around, of course, and you guys are doing everything you can for these wonderful kids. What in the world led you to start a podcast?

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Well, I was in shock. I had no clue that this world existed, that this community existed to the extent that it does. And when I found out how difficult it was to get the community support, the information, the connections as it was, I went, A light went on and I, I mean, because it was six months and then I felt like I. Came up for air.

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That's how hard it was, and I think that's how hard it is for everyone, right? And at least 99 point probably 9% of our community, that's the way it is. And so I like him on. And I said, and I'm a researcher, you know, that's one of the, the things I can't change about myself. So I, in this research, I thought there's got to be other people that need to hear what I'm trying to find out. There have to be people that are struggling every single day with this.

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Don't let my time be wasted just on me or, you know, let me share it with others. And that's how the podcast got started. And that's very similar. And if anyone listening to this podcast for a while are going to say, man, there's a lot of similarities to your story and Laura's story.

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My mantra was, don't waste your pain. We got that from Rick Warren.

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You're saying kind of the same thing. Don't let me just waste this.

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Let me use my research talents and be a blessing to the 2.3 or 2.5 or 2.7 million of US grandparents who are raising their grandkids. And that's exactly what you're doing. And you're just looking for ways to get the right subject matter experts in front of your audience. And that's why it keeps growing and it's just really, really exciting. But you're doing this all the while you are raising. Is it a six year old and a nine year old?

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A six year and a nine year old, yes. That have, that are special needs kids at 68. My husband and I are both 68. Years old and I'm 69. So we're right in the same neighborhood. So we the. And you, you left your community of 47 years, moved to Louisiana. Now you have this wonderful family support and, and that's working much better. Right? First, first, first date on our anniversary this last week we've ever had. First date without kids.

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That'S amazing. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of didn't know what.

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We didn't know what to do with ourselves, really. We went out for a nice dinner, and then we got to talk with each other. It was sort of strange. Yes, I know exactly what you're saying. We're. This week, our granddaughter is off school. It's the last day before last week before she heads back to school on Tuesday. So she's in the next office, you know, on her technology, chatting with her friends. And it's the real life behind the scenes, which is messy. Every day.

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Every day. Yeah. And so, so what have you learned from chatting with the guests on your podcast and learning more about our community?

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What are, what are the things that jump out at you as far as what needs to happen to really get the right type of support for grandparents who are raising grandkids? Well, community, I think these podcasts are a great way of listening on your own time, hearing what you need to hear.

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I get letters all the time from people telling me, thank you. What you said today was just what I needed to hear. The reinforcement that, all of this messiness, all the noises in your head, all of the, I'm not good enough. I can't do this.

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I'm never going to have a life again. That happens to everyone.

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And I feel like when you hear other people's stories, it encourages you that you're not alone and that somebody out there is struggling more than you are. And that has helped me. As much as it helps others, I, I, I've also learned how hard it is to do a podcast. And right around when I was wondering, you know, I need. There's got to be somebody out there that, you know, a team that I can connect with. And then I met you, and I went, wow, I have my team. You know, I'm not the strongest person in the world, definitely, by far. And what I have learned to do is ask for help when you need it, ask for help when you need it. And community and the resources are there.

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Just about everything we really need to get through this is there. And that's what this podcast has taught me. That's what connecting with community has taught me. Whatever kind of resources, whether it be food, material items, spiritual, community, hearing from others, getting over the shame and the guilt involved, talking about a child you have that's addicted, children that are addicted, grandchildren that are addicted to it really helps to connect in. In so many different ways.

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Absolutely helps you to connect and to ask for help when you need it. I really like that. But a Big component of your journey is the same as my journey, and that is our faith. And, and we, we want to encourage the grand family community as much as we can that they're not alone out there. But there is, some folks would say God or Jesus or a higher power is there.

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And I don't know what I do without my faith because there are some days, in fact, today before we went on the air, I was telling you of some of the challenges I have with. Unfortunately, my daughter has relapsed again. And when you think you're close to the finish line, that can really take the wind right out of your sails. But this common faith we have allows us to know that we're not alone.

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And we may not be enough, but we're connected to one who is. And I just want to encourage our listeners that, you know, if, if you do not have a strong personal faith or a higher power that you're connected with, I want to encourage you to check that out and, and, and if you can get hope and consolation from reading the Bible or the, that that really works. Because this, this is the real world that we're in, right, Laura? This is, we're not, we're not playing games here. This is, you know, we're talking about kids lives and grandparents lives and, and mental health, our own mental health, let alone the health of the community.

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And it's, it's just, just how do we put those cookies on a lower shelf so our friends and audience can take advantage of that?

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Well, and I hear from people that have no faith.

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And again, I reiterate, I, the, my listeners on my show and the people in my life come from all different walks of faith. Right? But the one thing I do find from those that have no faith, no higher power, is that they get to a point where they say, I don't want to do the work. I want to quit and quit on themselves as much as quit on their families and kids that want to quit. And the only way that I'm able to do that is through faith in a higher power. Because, you know, and I know there are so many walls. So many times, as I've told you before, I'm just getting to the point where when something really bad happens, like yesterday, you're talking about your daughter. Yesterday I was in a minor car acc and my grandson was having a meltdown, the worst I've ever seen. And, and I got to that wall and I said, I can't do this. I can't do this right now anymore.

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I'm out of strength. I'm out of energy. And that's when I got to walk through another wall.

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And I heard from my higher power to say, if you're struggling, think how he's struggling. And we. I could have a conversation with him where I could say, where is this anger coming from?

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Who is it? And he could name it, he could talk about it.

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Like, I went, why didn't I think of that? Well, that's because I can't think of that. And unless I had broken down and asked for help, I couldn't have had that help. And that's.

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That's what I. That's what I pray for.

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People that have no faith in any higher power is that you can't do the work, you can't do it alone, you will reach a wall you can't get through. And then what do you do?

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Well, the first thing they need to do when they're in that situation is what you did. And that is tell the truth.

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And whether it's God, Jesus, higher power, I can't handle this. I can't do any more with this. And so I'm going to give it to you, and I'm going to. And there's a process that you and I are learning about where you exchange that negative emotion that every time we deal with a negative emotion, it's an opportunity for transformation. And you went through that. I can't deal with this. God, I can't handle my grandson melting down.

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I didn't plan on an accident today. Figure it out. Can't figure it out. I got to give it to you. And that's when his peace and just a solution to the problem. And one of the greatest things for grandkids that I've seen with this whole idea of kids knowing their true identity and knowing that they can call on a higher power and get the answers they need. When my granddaughter connects with the one who made her and says, I'm really having a hard time with this or that or we had an issue one time over her report card. Well, she came in one day and I don't know if I told you this story or not, but she came in the beginning of last year and brought a report card home and said, you know, papa, I'm really stupid.

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I can't do anything. I'm just really not smart. I said, really?

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I said, who told you that? And she said, here's my report card. I looked at her report card. She had the highest proficiency in reading, which we've been trying to get back to after Covid and the second level in math. And my wife Kathy and I were ecstatic with this report card. Well, I mean, it was like the answer to prayer. This is beautiful.

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And I said, well, you know, why don't you go to your favorite place and in your imagination, why don't you give.

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She is a Christ follower, so she's going to give that report to Jesus and ask him what he thinks about your report card and what he calls. That's so great. So she hands him the report card and he says, you're. You're wise, you're smart, and you're strong. And I said, ella, as a grandpa, I can't get a better report for my stepdaughter than that. So. And I said, I don't ever want to hear that you tell me that you're not smart and you are dumb and that the impact and her personal self image was dramatic.

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It was just turned around. And that's one of the reasons why you need to have a relationship with a higher power. Or, or I call him Jesus and God and he's been in my life for decades, but there's absolutely nothing like it. And, and that's what I'm hoping as we continue to work together, that we can talk about this type of relationship and this type of training.

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And hopefully folks can find the hope, the love and the joy that they need through this personal relationship with the God who knit us together in our mother's womb and calls us by name. It is a just an amazing thing. And I want to say to any doubter out there that it did not come easy for me. This was.

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I am a very black and white person in many ways, and I searched for.

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I wanted to know that there was something better than me out there because I knew I had a lot of problems.

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I was an abused and neglected kid as a young child from very early on. And I was like, there's got to be something better than this. I can't remember thinking then in my crib at 3 years old going, they don't know what they're talking about. This does not make sense. You know, one and one does not equal three. And I searched and sought and tried within my little mind to, to look for something better.

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And it wasn't until I was a young woman that I said, I'm really having a problem with this. And I want, I want answers and I don't care. Muhammad, Jesus, Buddha, whoever, somebody needs to answer this. And if you answer this and I can hear from you, because I want a living relationship I don't want to, I don't want to walk this walk without an understanding because I believe that a true God is going to talk to me all the time. I might need to learn how to do that better, but I don't know what that's going to be.

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And I literally dared God to answer that request that I had. And it happened, or it was. No, it was with. It was within 24 hours that something that I could not within my power do. That was the most awful thing, one of the most awful things that was happening to me at the time, of course, in my life. And 180 degrees turned around and well, three, 360 degrees. No, not 180. Terrible mathematician. 180 degrees turn around and, and I went, well, I guess that Scott talking to me, you know, and, and I want to tell people that God is very real. The things that come between us and God really are ourselves and whatever beliefs we have and whatever belief systems we were taught. But this is, this is not art. This is something that you can have proven to yourself every day, very simply. And it takes, and it's every day. It's a process every day. It's not like you get enlightened and all of a sudden your troubles go away. You know, your troubles to go away. At least a good week. At least a week or a day or 24 hours till the next one. But, but that's what I think is a misconception. That's what we're not seeing, unfortunately in a lot of Christians and a lot of faith believers is living faith day to day. You're 100, right?

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Just, you know, I've studied at three seminaries, spent a lot of time in the original Greek and really learning the Bible. And it wasn't until I was on this journey regarding hearing from God that when I read the Bible and I've read it many times, that I realized that God was talking to his people and he was talking explicitly, specifically to his people.

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And that never jumped out at me before. We did a study in a small group Bible study last year called the Story. And in every, it was a 31 chapter summary of the whole Bible. And every one of those lessons, God is talking specifically to his people. And Jesus said, of course my sheep can hear my voice. And I've known those things for decades. But it never really dawned on me till this light went off and I realized that, that God loves me. And when I just pray to him and don't listen for what he says, it's a one way Conversation. It's like I'm leaving him a voicemail.

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Yes. And. But he wants to. He wants to be in the car with you and your grandson when the event is happening. And he's. And he whispers that still small voice. I got this. We're going to make it through this. And that's what we want for the 2.3 million grandparents out there. Yes. That's why we're doing this. It's not like we need things to do. We want. This is really hard.

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It's really hard. We need a lot of help.

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We do need a lot of help. I don't know why I'm laughing, but you have to have a sense of humor, don't you do. And. Well, you know, before we went on the air, I was telling you about the challenges I've had last couple days, and it's just the fellowship of the community is what is so powerful. And you can relate to my story and I can relate to your story and what have you. So. So let me ask you, Laura, as we begin to think about winding this initial podcast up, where do you think our relationship is going to go? Here is. It's a grand life of grandparents raising grandkids. Any thoughts?

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Oh, and two or more are gathered. You know, I think that our voices are magnified together, and I think that we're learning some really great things. And my listeners hearing that from you will be blessed.

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And I have no allegiance to being some kind of authority on this subject, so.

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And. And have fun talking with you. You know, it's really fun talking about this stuff.

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It's like, it's the best social time I can have. So I don't know if that works for other people. Then let's hopefully bless their social time outside of fire. You know, this crazy world that we're in by our conversations and the people that we can bless, because that's what it's all about. My goal is blessing others through this community that we are so passionate about 100%.

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I just. You've said it quite eloquently.

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And again, as we just wind up our first time together here, and it's a grand life of grandparents raising grandkids. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode and this. Your thoughts on the concept of Laura and I partnering or collaborating to see how we can do a better job of presenting subject matter experts to you and what have you.

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And I just. I want you to check out the work that she's been involved in, because her mission and vision to connect with her community is just amazing and it's getting terrific results.

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But the ultimate goal we would love for you, when you are in a situation like Laura was talking about in the car or I've been dealing with a almost 32 year old grandchild who's, excuse me, child, who's in the middle of relapse, how do you deal with that as a human on this planet? How can you have peace from God in your heart when you're dealing with that? And what help do you need? Yeah, what help do you need? Reach out for help.

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Reach out for help. Give us a call. Give us a call. Or give Craig a call or give or, or give Laura a call. Either one. We just, yeah, you can call me. And if we don't have the answers, we want to point you to the. Folks that we'll find them. And the you'll see at the bottom of our screen, you've got the way to get in contact with Laura and her organization, Grandparents Raising Grandkids Grandchildren. And we look forward to seeing you next time on It's a Grand Life. But thank you so much for joining us. Any final words? Laura, I want to mention the website address. Yep, it's Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Nurturing through adversity. So it's Grandparents Raising grandchildren dot org. I found that today.

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I, I was googling grandparentsraisinggrandkids dot org and I had to, I missed the dash and with the dashes. So the dashes are important. Well, thanks so much. Thanks, Craig. We'll be seeing you all very soon. God bless.

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God bless you. We love to hear your thoughts on this episode and on the concept of us partnering to bring you more content. What do you need help with right now?

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Please reach out and let us know. Joanne, a grandparent who is taking care of her daughter as well with type 1 diabetes. A divorced mother left with three children, lost one leg and is about to lose the other leg. She received a check from Craig and his team for a ramp and school clothes for her grandchildren this year. For more information about Craig's work and the grand fund, please Visit.

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It's a grandlife.com if you know a grandparent who needs to hear this, please share this episode with them. We want to celebrate you and the. Hard work you're doing. So please write in and share your thoughts. In our conversation today, Craig and I. Laid out the heart behind our new mission. Now it's time to fill our toolbox with the expert advice we all need. Is your grandchild's world filled with conflict and unpredictability and are you struggling to help them manage their big emotions and build trust? Well next week we are honored to be joined by Dr. David S. Marcus, a clinical psychologist who has spent 40 years as a child advocate in high conflict family court. He reveals that our most important job as caregivers is to become a soothing presence in a child's chaotic world.

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Join us to discover the essential empty out process that gives children the emotional security they need to heal and learn the common mistakes that can accidentally shut down communication.

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This is your opportunity to gain the crucial insights that will help you foster resilience and build a more peaceful and happy family life. I hope you'll join us.

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Thank you for tuning in to grandparents, raising grandchildren, nurturing through adversity. Remember, you are not alone. Together we can find strength and hope in the face of adversity.

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Peace be with you and I pray. That you find some time this week to listen to your inner wisdom amongst the noise and the pandemonium of this world.