S2 E1 | Ep 94: The 2.7 Million Manifesto: From Survival Mode to Invisible CEO

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Four years ago, I thought I knew what my future looked like. It involved 9am sleep ins, road trips on a whim, and a quiet house. And then the phone rang. One day my husband Tom looked at me and confessed the words that we are all terrified to say. I'm just not sure I can do this. I'm not sure I have what it takes.

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And I replied with the only truth I had. I don't want to do this either, Tom. But I'm saying yes because it's the right thing to do. I'm Laura Brazan and today we launched the 2.7 million project.

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We are trading our retirement versions for a mission. We are the keepers of the future and we are still here. Welcome to episode 94.

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Welcome to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Nurturing through Adversity. In this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.

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We'll discuss how we can change the. Course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles.

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This podcast was made especially for you.

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Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your your experiences are valued and your journey is honored.

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Welcome to Series two. I'm Laura Brazan. Today is a solo episode, A Manifesto for the silent army. On January 1, I wrote in my journal, the house is quiet, but my head is loud.

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I'm surrounded by the people I love most and yet I feel miles away.

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I've been your host for 18 months, but today I'm not just a voice in your ear. I'm a grandmother sitting at the four year mark of a journey I never planned for.

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I am one of the 2.7 million. And with you we are moving past, just surviving the disconnect we are naming it. We are breaking down the state of the kinship union. Why we are stronger, but we are scarred. And why this year we stop parenting in the shadows and start owning our role as invisible CEOs of our families. I will always keep that copy of the police report I received before we picked up our grandchildren.

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The details are so etched in my mind.

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Feces smeared on the walls above my grandson's crib.

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Bugs visibly crawling on My granddaughter's skin.

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I tell you this not to shame the past, but to honor the progress. When I talk about the 2.7 million, I'm talking about people who walked into a house of fire and decided to stay until the flames were out.

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That was my day one. Today we are on day 1460. Over the last almost 100 episodes, I've realized this system isn't just broken, it's relying on us. We are the unpaid safety net of America. If the world understood that we are the only thing standing between 2.7 million children and a collapsed foster care system, they would treat us like the heroes that we are, rather than a social afterthought. When that phone rang, two lives began, but one life ended. My life. My husband's life. I mourn the retirement version of myself. We often talk about the children's loss, but we rarely talk about the secondary grief of the grandparent. We are grieving our own golden years while we're busy changing diapers in them. It's a ghost life that follows us through the grocery store, whispering, you were supposed to be done by now. And then there is the guilt.

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You look at that beautiful child, that pale face that finally has color in its cheeks because of your safety, and you feel like a monster for wishing you were on a beach instead. But hear me.

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Love and resentment can live in the same heart at the same time. Admitting the weight is heavy doesn't mean you're going to drop. Just means you're acknowledging the work you're doing. I'll be honest. When we drove those children from Texas to Montana, I had a fantasy. I. I thought a safe world would magically dissolve their pain. I expected gratitude, and instead I got a collision. Their survival language met my own buried scars. The children's trauma reached deep inside my psyche and pulled out things I thought I'd buried.

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My own history of abuse, the loss of my child, the scars of divorce. I had to stop trying to be the perfect provider and become a vulnerable leader.

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I found what Fr. Richard Rohr calls the universal Christ.

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I found the divine not in a cathedral, but in the 3am fever and the tantrum on the floor when my grandson was screaming in that crib four years ago.

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The divine was there, too, suffering with him.

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My job wasn't to fix it. My job was to find the frequency of that presence right in the middle of the mess. Every leader needs an anchor. And for me, that's my husband, Tom.

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He didn't lead with speeches. He led with his hands, fixing a lamp, planting a seed or saying go take some space honey, I got this. But what if you don't have a tom? What if you are the only CEO, the security guard and the lighthouse all in one? If you're a solo guardian, you are our special forces. You have to become a master of the micro anchor. That non negotiable three minutes in the car or that one specific cup of coffee.

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It isn't just self care, it's a tactical survival maneuver. When the disconnect feels like a canyon.

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This week, give yourself 60 seconds.

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Don't fix the toy or answer the email. Just breathe. Remind your nervous system that you are still the leader of this ship even when the water is choppy and I need your help. I'm writing our story this year and chapter one is about this ghost life. In this week's newsletter, you'll find my raw January 1st journal entry. Hit reply and tell me when. What is the one thing you lost four years ago that you're finally ready to admit you miss? Your answers are the heartbeat of this book.

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Next week, we'll sit down with Dr. Dale Atkins to discuss her beautiful new book, the Turquoise Butterfly. We'll talk about how to help grandchildren navigate loss and how we as caregivers can manage our own grief while rebuilding their resilience. Laura I'm Laura Brazan.

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Remember, you are not alone. Together we can find strength and hope in the face of adversity. We are the keepers of the future and our presence is the most sacred thing these children have. We are 2.7 million strong, still nurturing and still here sending you peace.