The First 72 Hours: A Kinship Caregiver’s Survival Guide

The Goal: Stabilize, Breathe, and Anchor.

When that phone call comes, your brain enters the "Shock Zone." You aren't just a grandparent anymore; you are a first responder. This guide is designed to get you through the first three days without losing your footing.

 

 

Day 1: The Stabilization Phase

Focus: Physical Safety and Immediate Needs

  • The "Essentials" Audit: Does the child have shoes, a coat, and any required medications? If they arrived with nothing, your only job today is to secure these three things.

  • The Power of Presence: You don't need to have the "big talk" today. Your only job is to provide a safe, quiet environment. Keep the lights low and the TV off.

  • The CEO Move: Delegate the small stuff. If a friend asks "How can I help?", say: "Can you bring over a rotisserie chicken and a gallon of milk?" ### Day 2: The Assessment Phase Focus: Routine and Documentation

  • Build a "Bridge" Routine: Children in trauma need predictability. Create a simple "First 48" schedule: Breakfast at 8, Park at 10, Nap at 1. Write it on a whiteboard where they can see it.

  • Start the CEO Log: Buy a dedicated notebook. Record every phone call, every visit, and every milestone. This is now your "Boardroom Minutes."

  • Identify the Support: Call one person who "gets it"—not a critic, but a supporter. Tell them: "The mission has started. I need you in my corner."

Day 3: The Anchor Phase

Focus: Self-Preservation and Long-Term View

  • Address the "Ghost Life": It is okay to feel sad that your "Retirement Version" just changed. Acknowledge the grief today so it doesn't turn into resentment tomorrow.

  • The Sacred Presence: Remember Tom’s words: "Your presence is the most sacred thing this family has." You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be there.

  • Professional Reach-Out: Identify the first professional you need to contact (Pediatrician, Legal Aid, or School Counselor). Schedule one—and only one—call.