March 2, 2026
Choosing Softness, Imagination, and Sanctuary to Heal Trauma
In this heartfelt episode of *Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity*, host Laura Brazan, welcomes Ellie Moss, creator of the whimsical world of Lickity Pop, to explore the healing power of softness and sanctuary for families navigating trauma. Drawing on personal experience and creative resilience, Ellie Moss shares how she built Lickity Pop—not from a business plan, but as a survival strategy to soothe overwhelmed minds and restore nervous systems stretched thin.
Together, Laura Brazan and Ellie discuss why quiet imagination is a strategic tool for caregivers, especially grandparents raising their grandchildren after traumatic events. They touch on sensory architecture in the home, the importance of gentle communication for neurodivergent children, and how magical story worlds like Lickity Pop offer restorative escapes for both kids and adults.
You’ll learn practical tips for lowering sensory input, fostering predictable routines, and creating safe spaces—even cozy corners—for emotional decompression. The episode is a celebration of the everyday magic that helps families reconnect, heal, and avoid burnout. Whether you’re grappling with loud chaos or seeking new ways to build connection, this conversation invites you to choose softness over volume, and wonder over exhaustion. You can visit the enchanting world of Lickity Pop . Order Ellie's new book, Dibs the Dragon and the Marshmallow Rescue- it's not just for kids!
Discover actionable ideas for transforming your home, office, or classroom—and be reminded that magic isn’t just for kids; it’s essential for the grownups on the frontlines too.
Jolene Thiessen has been with us since the beginning of our podcast. She wrote in to thank us for our 100th episode! She looked for help online and found us- the only podcast that came up when she searched for help. I live to help these children have better lives and to be sure that all our pain doesn't go to waste for you grandparents and kinship caregivers out there! I love hearing your stories and comments. Keep sharing! Your stories make a difference.
Thank you for tuning into today's episode. It's been a journey of shared stories, insights, and invaluable advice from the heart of a community that knows the beauty and challenges of raising grandchildren. Your presence and engagement mean the world to us and to grandparents everywhere stepping up in ways they never imagined.
Remember, you're not alone on this journey. For more resources, support, and stories, visit our website and follow us on our social media channels. If today's episode moved you, consider sharing it with someone who might find comfort and connection in our shared experiences.
We look forward to bringing more stories and expert advice your way next week. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other.
Want to be a guest on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity? Send Laura Brazan a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/grg
Liked this episode? Share it and tag us on Facebook @GrandparentsRaisingGrandchilden
Love the show? Leave a review and let us know!
CONNECT WITH US: Website | Facebook
"Our path may be difficult, but our presence is unwavering. We are still here. Sending you peace." - Laura Brazan
WEBVTT
00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:51.640
What if the most productive thing you can do for your home today isn't to get louder, but to get softer? We live in a world that rewards noise, speed, and grinding it out.
00:00:51.879 --> 00:01:05.560
But for those of us raising grandchildren who have already survived a loud history of trauma, our nervous systems are reaching a breaking point. Today I'm joined by Ellie Moss, creator of the world of Lickity Pop.
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:45.259
Ellie didn't build her brand from a business plan. She built it from a survival plan. In the middle of a chapter that felt too heavy to carry, she chose soft over loud, creating a sanctuary of jellybean forests and dragons who whisper bravery. In this episode, we explore why escaping into wander is a strategic requirement for the invisible CEO. We discuss how to build the sensory architecture of your home, why your neurodivergent grandchild needs a whisper instead of a lecture, and why, truthfully, the grown ups in this rescue mission need magic as much as the kids do.
00:01:46.300 --> 00:01:54.939
If your house feels vibratingly loud and your spirit feels thin, pull up a chair. It's time to learn the power of sanctuary.
00:02:01.740 --> 00:02:50.069
Welcome to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Nurturing through Adversity. In this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of grandparents raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial, and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings, and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.
00:02:52.629 --> 00:03:10.250
We'll discuss how we can change the course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles. This podcast was made especially for you.
00:03:11.689 --> 00:03:20.810
Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.
00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:31.060
Last Tuesday, the house felt like it was vibrating.
00:03:31.700 --> 00:03:45.700
The TV was too loud, the kids were crashing into the walls. And I realized I was clenching my jaw so hard it hurt. My journal entry that night was just one sentence.
00:03:46.420 --> 00:04:23.870
I am drowning in the noise of a life I didn't choose. I realized then that as a CEO, I was trying to manage the chaos with more loud, more rules, more discipline, more volume. I didn't know how to choose soft without feeling like I was giving up control. I've been doing the same thing over and over, and guess what? I get the same results. I was struggling with a child that doesn't process things the same way the other child does. That's when I Found a new way to communicate with my granddaughter through her imagination.
00:04:24.670 --> 00:04:34.750
Ellie, thanks for joining us. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Tell us about how you developed the world of Lickity Pop.
00:04:35.230 --> 00:05:11.790
It came at a time, like you mentioned, where the world became a little bit too heavy for me. Learnt in life generally is that when life gets loud and our instinct is to get louder, we have more rules, more control, more doing. And that's what I did for a very long time. I felt overwhelmed. I did what a lot of caregivers do, especially women. We work harder, we organize more, we add more structure, we try to outpace the chaos. But there came a time or a moment where I realized that I had become the loudest version of myself.
00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:16.740
And I had no capacity left to get louder.
00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:42.750
So I went in the opposite direction, very unfamiliar, out of control and loud. And I went into the quiet and I was uncertain. I was nervous about that space, but I realized I could sit in it and feel safe. It wasn't a fix all. And from there, Lickety Pop grew. I've always loved to write and I felt that in my life I never had that creativity outlet.
00:05:43.470 --> 00:06:25.100
So what started as a survival mode where I created a candy colored, pastel colored world where everything was soft, no sharp edges. Because I already had enough of that in my life, I could go there. And anything that happened in Lickety Pop, it always ended the same way. On a gumdrop hill overlooking the stars, resting peacefully. And so I explored that world and I came back to it time and again where the real life became too loud. I could come back here and whatever I threw at it, I always ended up the same way on that gumdrop hill. And realistically, this is what you were doing in your working life as. As therapy for yourself?
00:06:25.660 --> 00:06:43.329
Yes. I don't want to speak for everyone, but we will be in places where we're told to do this to help us with therapy or to do that. I was told to journal. I was told, and sometimes it works and it doesn't. But for me, when I had nowhere else to go, this helped. I could explore the boundaries.
00:06:43.329 --> 00:07:05.550
I didn't have to perform in such a way. I wasn't expected to react or to put a performance for whoever was watching me at that time, I could genuinely be me. And so my mind felt enough and relaxed enough to create this world. And then the characters came to life and then the little places and locations. It's really such a fun world. So many crazy things happen.
00:07:05.550 --> 00:07:35.399
I call it cozy chaos. You know, mistakes happen, magic spells, Backfire. We have marshmallow moles stuck in swamps and we get them out. But at the end of the day, we always end up in that same safe spot. I can relate. As I mentioned to you before, our life as grandparents raising grandchildren was a sharp diversion from the direction we were heading in. My husband and I had found each other.
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:39.079
We were ready to retire together, to travel.
00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:53.209
But instead it was the other way around. I want to know what you think about giving ourselves permission, that permission to bring magic back into our lives when we've lost a lot of it.
00:07:53.850 --> 00:08:03.610
Why we need to rely upon our imagination and those candy colored worlds as much as the children do to avoid burnout.
00:08:04.569 --> 00:08:18.800
I'm so glad you said that. It took me a long time to give myself permission to live in this candy colored world. We have the expectation that reality is what needs us, that we need to be in the reality.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:48.689
So a fantasy world is not productive. And so I think that one of the taboos that we all live in is that the caregivers don't get that we're not allowed to have that rest or that imagination or that quiet time. And so I feel that we do need it. We have to give ourselves permission that we are using this also lickety pot. But it could be really anything that. That soothes you, not as an escape, but as a restoration.
00:08:49.409 --> 00:09:19.419
You know, so much of the household's mental load is invisible to us. It waves very heavily. We don't speak it out loud, but we live it every single day. And so imagination to me isn't avoidance. It's how we remember who we are when everything else feels like duty. It gives us a place to rest our nervous system. When real life doesn't give us that chance. It doesn't allow us to pause. So I didn't build this world crazily enough for kids at the time.
00:09:19.419 --> 00:11:38.590
I built it for adults to survive in. And it just so happened that it's a perfect analogy or it resonates very deeply with adults and caregivers with their kids. It's a way to connect. And we both take different things away from this world. Adults take a completely different meaning than what the kids do. It occurred to me as we're speaking that a lot of these children that have been through trauma create imaginary worlds for themselves because that is where they heal the most. And when we can connect with their world, then we can find a common language to help them heal and for them to express themselves. I know that my granddaughter is currently being reunited for the first time with her birth mother. And that's created a very difficult situation in her mind. And these poor children who are young having to do things that are so hard. She has struggled with being, on the one hand, very happy to be reunited with her mother, but on the other hand to process the information of, oh, this is the person who abused me, this is the person who neglected me. Her mother is taking all the right steps to be healthy and have a better relationship with her children. She's going to have to prove herself. There isn't a long period of trust there. So as I'd mentioned to you before, working with her therapist and finding a way to talk about a world that we can both connect in. It may not be real for either one of us, but it is a way to communicate. We can use our imagination, I think much more effectively sometimes then we can with real world language. Exactly. It's harder to say the truth. I'll say that in a generic way when it's real world because it becomes real.
00:11:39.149 --> 00:11:42.830
And emotions, defensiveness, cast comes into play.
00:11:43.710 --> 00:12:49.210
And this fantasy, this lickety pop on the surface seems very fun. You know, it's a really soft, gentle, bubble blowing dragon who saves a marshmallow mold. They become friends and it's so much fun. You know, pastel colors, syrup, swamp. Who thinks of this? But underneath, there are so many layers to this world that I think directly relates to what you said. You're connecting on a level that's safe. There's predictability in the stories. I can say that it kind of mirrors a real day life. We start hopeful, the story starts slow and hopeful, and the real world comes busy, loud noise, tantrums, spills, things go wrong and it happens in the story. And at the end of the day, we all end up in the same place. And I hope that we all end up in the same place where we can sit and rest, take a deep breath. And if we're fortunate enough to have a loved one next to us, that's where the connection comes. And just if I'm okay to jump back on the trauma aspect a lot of the book because for me, this is what I needed and I feel this is what we, we can benefit.
00:12:49.370 --> 00:13:19.110
We all need predictability and a safe place. And so every single story ends on that gumdrop hill. So I know no matter where that day takes me, I will still end up there. So for kids, no matter where the day takes them, no matter what scary things happen or what bad things happen or unpredictable, we're always going to end up in a safe place. Safe in your grandparents arms, in your caregiver's arms, reading a book together and to that is what builds the resilience and the connection because you have to wear a lot of hats during the day.
00:13:19.990 --> 00:13:34.870
And if nothing else, they can have comfort and stability in another world because this one sets up much more barriers for us. Yes, 100%. This world doesn't change. Right. Always safe.
00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:52.480
So when we talk about activities that children do, you talked about more volume and more volume and things were loud in the house. And then I know I get upset when it gets like that. And then I get louder and more discipline comes out of my mouth.
00:13:53.039 --> 00:15:59.379
But a lot of the games that kids play and the way that they escape are very overstimulating, not very relaxing. Thinking about online games, why do you think our overstimulated children need content and environments that don't demand more of our nervous systems? Lickety Pop is a world that is gentle, soothing. I imagine it's slower paced than the real world. Yes. You know, the loud and the fast that we have, we live in a world right now where everything is at our fingertips. And so we have kids that will watch a video a minute later, watch another one and another one. The expectation is more, more, more, and that's fine. But Lickety Pop is there for us to simply say soft and slow. And that tells our nervous system in a real way that we're safe and safety is where growth happens. Soft and safe allows us to breathe. There are no expectations. We're not fixing, we're not reacting, we're not running around for the next fix. And that's why I believe it allows children just to be in a quiet moment on themselves or with their caregivers or companions. And they can just be together because they're so surrounded by noise or the time. It does create a barrier or a distance. So I feel that slowing down allows us to reconnect with ourselves and with each other authentically. And Lickety Pop does follow that. Yes, we have cozy chaos, but it's a world where it slows down on the emotional level, on the relationship level, maybe the activities are fast and crazy. We do have some stories coming up where Mooch will wear edible pants because he wants to have snacks all day. And of course that can become a little bit of a disaster, things like that. But we're not talking about in relationships. And that's where I really feel Lickety Pop will help. It's genuine.
00:16:03.539 --> 00:17:11.389
You know, as caregivers, I think our first instincts are to take care of everyone else. And my thoughts are, oh, I want to buy this book for my children, my grandchildren. Why do you think we need that imagination in that world, that candy colored world of Lickity Pop, as much as the children do? To avoid burnout 100%. We need it because it gives us the opportunity to connect with ourselves and to take a moment from for ourselves. A lot of the time when we think we're taking a moment for ourselves, such as having a cup of coffee at the table or sitting and reading a book, we haven't really escaped in a way that allows our mind to escape. Escape the mental load that we're living in. Yes, I love a cup of coffee by the table. I love to sit and read a book. But we're in our real world right now. We really are. We still have the kids in the background or our partners in the background. We don't get to escape. And Lickety Pop is such a different world. We haven't seen it before. We're not escaping into a book that has real life connections.
00:17:11.950 --> 00:17:26.950
You know, we don't have marshmallow moles in real life. We don't have candy colored. I wish we could, but we don't. So this is a true escape where our mind can escape, but we can also feel safe. Because for caregivers, we don't always feel that we are doing the right thing.
00:17:26.950 --> 00:17:44.969
Sometimes, sometimes we feel that we're failing in a way or that we're outdated in what is that? So I feel that going into a world in Lickety Pop, there's nothing wrong with what we've done throughout the day. We can end it in a beautiful story, connect with them, but feel good about ourselves as well.
00:17:45.609 --> 00:18:13.839
So we also need that karma connection. And Lickity Pop at the end of every story has a poem specifically for whatever message that story is. And the very first book is about kindness and friends friendship, but truly it's about connection. And that's what grandparents and kids need. That's what caregivers need. At the end of the story might be for children, but the poem at the end, I have made it specifically for adults and I think it will resonate with them more than the kids.
00:18:14.239 --> 00:18:17.279
So that's why I say this book truly is for both generations.
00:18:18.479 --> 00:19:04.829
I have to say, my husband loves watching the kids movies and Disney as much as he enjoys regular TV when he watches it. Why is it we feel so much guilt or shame when we admit that we need to escape into these imaginary worlds? I know. And it's just built into how we're perceived in society. I feel we've been taught, and I may be generalizing, that rest must be earned. That imagination looks like like rest. And so we're a little bit ashamed of it. We think that choosing quiet is radical. It's laziness. It's not real life parenting. And, and this was the hardest part for me. This is what generated me to create this world. Reality needed me.
00:19:04.829 --> 00:19:12.029
How dare I step away into fantasy for that moment? How can I? But then that belief is what burnt me out.
00:19:12.429 --> 00:20:04.750
And when I stepped back, I realized that imagination is not avoiding reality. It's how we rest so we can face that day in the best way possible for us and for the people who rely on us. So when we parallel our needs with our children's needs and the kids needs, we realize we both need this. It's not exclusive to one person or one generation. If you went back to the CEO role that you had before you began writing, how would you redesign the office space or the classrooms or the doctor's office, the dentist's office? I love that you asked this question because the very first thing that I did, I still have my CEO office because it's where I the most productive.
00:20:05.229 --> 00:20:38.629
And the very first thing that I did when I went into Lickity pop and I love this world is I threw throughout my old high black back office chair. I don't know if you can notice. I can see your chair. I bought this most comfortable pink fluffy chair that spoke to me and I threw away all the conventions and I bought what made me feel good in this space. And the other thing that I did was I decluttered. It's easy to forget what your eyes see on an everyday basis, but because you become blind to it, you skim over it.
00:20:39.109 --> 00:20:46.229
So this was a very work heavy space. And for classrooms, especially for kids, a lot of classrooms have harsh lighting.
00:20:46.549 --> 00:20:50.309
They have set spaces for learning and we have a kid space for toys.
00:20:50.309 --> 00:20:56.909
But the first thing I did is I changed the lighting for the moods that I was in. If I was in a high stress meeting.
00:20:56.909 --> 00:21:33.329
Of course I need a certain light. And for kids, some aspects of learning need a certain lighting. However, I would have an option for not harsh lighting, softer lighting, cozy. I also created a very small space for a cozy, safe sanctuary. I think this would be perfect for anyone. No matter what space you have, your office or a classroom, I would create a cozy corner, a true sanctuary. I don't throw homework, I don't throw work there. I don't throw loud toys or TVs or noise. There's no demands. I can sit if I wanted to and be totally safe and quiet.
00:21:33.329 --> 00:21:46.769
And I feel that we all need that, especially kids that don't have stability right now or they have a fear of uncertainty. A safe, predictable routine would be amazing in a little cozy corner like that. I think would help.
00:21:48.129 --> 00:22:21.509
Thanks, Ellie, so much. Thank you so much, Laura. It was a privilege to be on. I Hope you'll visit liggetypop.com where you can explore the brand pre order dibs, the Dragon and the Marshmallow Rescue and the Cozy Magic coloring book and learn more about the world that Ellie has created today. Won't you try to take a breath? Look around your boardroom. Is it a place that demands more from you or a place that offers you peace? Ellie reminds us that we're allowed to prioritize calm over chaos.
00:22:22.419 --> 00:22:25.539
Wonder isn't avoidance. It's essential maintenance.
00:22:26.419 --> 00:22:47.699
So here's your lickity pop minute tonight before the midnight call of bedtime chaos. Find one way to lower the sensory input in your home. Dim the lights, put away the screens, and choose a story that whispers. See if the big feelings in the room begin to soften when you stop trying to outroar them.
00:22:50.009 --> 00:23:30.849
Join us next week as we move from the world of sanctuary into the mechanics of the emotional motherboard. We'll be joined by Bonnie Butler, a master life coach who's navigated the complexities of 10 children and 17 foster placements. We're going to discuss the ultimate tool for the invisible CEO, thought management, and how to lead yourself through the storm when the calendar feels like it's winning. You are the keeper of the future, and your presence is the most sacred thing your family has. We're 2.7 million strong, still nurturing and still here. I'm Laura Brazan, and I'll see you in the next boardroom.
00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:51.640
What if the most productive thing you can do for your home today isn't to get louder, but to get softer? We live in a world that rewards noise, speed, and grinding it out.
00:00:51.879 --> 00:01:05.560
But for those of us raising grandchildren who have already survived a loud history of trauma, our nervous systems are reaching a breaking point. Today I'm joined by Ellie Moss, creator of the world of Lickity Pop.
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:45.259
Ellie didn't build her brand from a business plan. She built it from a survival plan. In the middle of a chapter that felt too heavy to carry, she chose soft over loud, creating a sanctuary of jellybean forests and dragons who whisper bravery. In this episode, we explore why escaping into wander is a strategic requirement for the invisible CEO. We discuss how to build the sensory architecture of your home, why your neurodivergent grandchild needs a whisper instead of a lecture, and why, truthfully, the grown ups in this rescue mission need magic as much as the kids do.
00:01:46.300 --> 00:01:54.939
If your house feels vibratingly loud and your spirit feels thin, pull up a chair. It's time to learn the power of sanctuary.
00:02:01.740 --> 00:02:50.069
Welcome to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Nurturing through Adversity. In this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of grandparents raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial, and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings, and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.
00:02:52.629 --> 00:03:10.250
We'll discuss how we can change the course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles. This podcast was made especially for you.
00:03:11.689 --> 00:03:20.810
Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.
00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:31.060
Last Tuesday, the house felt like it was vibrating.
00:03:31.700 --> 00:03:45.700
The TV was too loud, the kids were crashing into the walls. And I realized I was clenching my jaw so hard it hurt. My journal entry that night was just one sentence.
00:03:46.420 --> 00:04:23.870
I am drowning in the noise of a life I didn't choose. I realized then that as a CEO, I was trying to manage the chaos with more loud, more rules, more discipline, more volume. I didn't know how to choose soft without feeling like I was giving up control. I've been doing the same thing over and over, and guess what? I get the same results. I was struggling with a child that doesn't process things the same way the other child does. That's when I Found a new way to communicate with my granddaughter through her imagination.
00:04:24.670 --> 00:04:34.750
Ellie, thanks for joining us. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Tell us about how you developed the world of Lickity Pop.
00:04:35.230 --> 00:05:11.790
It came at a time, like you mentioned, where the world became a little bit too heavy for me. Learnt in life generally is that when life gets loud and our instinct is to get louder, we have more rules, more control, more doing. And that's what I did for a very long time. I felt overwhelmed. I did what a lot of caregivers do, especially women. We work harder, we organize more, we add more structure, we try to outpace the chaos. But there came a time or a moment where I realized that I had become the loudest version of myself.
00:05:12.899 --> 00:05:16.740
And I had no capacity left to get louder.
00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:42.750
So I went in the opposite direction, very unfamiliar, out of control and loud. And I went into the quiet and I was uncertain. I was nervous about that space, but I realized I could sit in it and feel safe. It wasn't a fix all. And from there, Lickety Pop grew. I've always loved to write and I felt that in my life I never had that creativity outlet.
00:05:43.470 --> 00:06:25.100
So what started as a survival mode where I created a candy colored, pastel colored world where everything was soft, no sharp edges. Because I already had enough of that in my life, I could go there. And anything that happened in Lickety Pop, it always ended the same way. On a gumdrop hill overlooking the stars, resting peacefully. And so I explored that world and I came back to it time and again where the real life became too loud. I could come back here and whatever I threw at it, I always ended up the same way on that gumdrop hill. And realistically, this is what you were doing in your working life as. As therapy for yourself?
00:06:25.660 --> 00:06:43.329
Yes. I don't want to speak for everyone, but we will be in places where we're told to do this to help us with therapy or to do that. I was told to journal. I was told, and sometimes it works and it doesn't. But for me, when I had nowhere else to go, this helped. I could explore the boundaries.
00:06:43.329 --> 00:07:05.550
I didn't have to perform in such a way. I wasn't expected to react or to put a performance for whoever was watching me at that time, I could genuinely be me. And so my mind felt enough and relaxed enough to create this world. And then the characters came to life and then the little places and locations. It's really such a fun world. So many crazy things happen.
00:07:05.550 --> 00:07:35.399
I call it cozy chaos. You know, mistakes happen, magic spells, Backfire. We have marshmallow moles stuck in swamps and we get them out. But at the end of the day, we always end up in that same safe spot. I can relate. As I mentioned to you before, our life as grandparents raising grandchildren was a sharp diversion from the direction we were heading in. My husband and I had found each other.
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:39.079
We were ready to retire together, to travel.
00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:53.209
But instead it was the other way around. I want to know what you think about giving ourselves permission, that permission to bring magic back into our lives when we've lost a lot of it.
00:07:53.850 --> 00:08:03.610
Why we need to rely upon our imagination and those candy colored worlds as much as the children do to avoid burnout.
00:08:04.569 --> 00:08:18.800
I'm so glad you said that. It took me a long time to give myself permission to live in this candy colored world. We have the expectation that reality is what needs us, that we need to be in the reality.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:48.689
So a fantasy world is not productive. And so I think that one of the taboos that we all live in is that the caregivers don't get that we're not allowed to have that rest or that imagination or that quiet time. And so I feel that we do need it. We have to give ourselves permission that we are using this also lickety pot. But it could be really anything that. That soothes you, not as an escape, but as a restoration.
00:08:49.409 --> 00:09:19.419
You know, so much of the household's mental load is invisible to us. It waves very heavily. We don't speak it out loud, but we live it every single day. And so imagination to me isn't avoidance. It's how we remember who we are when everything else feels like duty. It gives us a place to rest our nervous system. When real life doesn't give us that chance. It doesn't allow us to pause. So I didn't build this world crazily enough for kids at the time.
00:09:19.419 --> 00:11:38.590
I built it for adults to survive in. And it just so happened that it's a perfect analogy or it resonates very deeply with adults and caregivers with their kids. It's a way to connect. And we both take different things away from this world. Adults take a completely different meaning than what the kids do. It occurred to me as we're speaking that a lot of these children that have been through trauma create imaginary worlds for themselves because that is where they heal the most. And when we can connect with their world, then we can find a common language to help them heal and for them to express themselves. I know that my granddaughter is currently being reunited for the first time with her birth mother. And that's created a very difficult situation in her mind. And these poor children who are young having to do things that are so hard. She has struggled with being, on the one hand, very happy to be reunited with her mother, but on the other hand to process the information of, oh, this is the person who abused me, this is the person who neglected me. Her mother is taking all the right steps to be healthy and have a better relationship with her children. She's going to have to prove herself. There isn't a long period of trust there. So as I'd mentioned to you before, working with her therapist and finding a way to talk about a world that we can both connect in. It may not be real for either one of us, but it is a way to communicate. We can use our imagination, I think much more effectively sometimes then we can with real world language. Exactly. It's harder to say the truth. I'll say that in a generic way when it's real world because it becomes real.
00:11:39.149 --> 00:11:42.830
And emotions, defensiveness, cast comes into play.
00:11:43.710 --> 00:12:49.210
And this fantasy, this lickety pop on the surface seems very fun. You know, it's a really soft, gentle, bubble blowing dragon who saves a marshmallow mold. They become friends and it's so much fun. You know, pastel colors, syrup, swamp. Who thinks of this? But underneath, there are so many layers to this world that I think directly relates to what you said. You're connecting on a level that's safe. There's predictability in the stories. I can say that it kind of mirrors a real day life. We start hopeful, the story starts slow and hopeful, and the real world comes busy, loud noise, tantrums, spills, things go wrong and it happens in the story. And at the end of the day, we all end up in the same place. And I hope that we all end up in the same place where we can sit and rest, take a deep breath. And if we're fortunate enough to have a loved one next to us, that's where the connection comes. And just if I'm okay to jump back on the trauma aspect a lot of the book because for me, this is what I needed and I feel this is what we, we can benefit.
00:12:49.370 --> 00:13:19.110
We all need predictability and a safe place. And so every single story ends on that gumdrop hill. So I know no matter where that day takes me, I will still end up there. So for kids, no matter where the day takes them, no matter what scary things happen or what bad things happen or unpredictable, we're always going to end up in a safe place. Safe in your grandparents arms, in your caregiver's arms, reading a book together and to that is what builds the resilience and the connection because you have to wear a lot of hats during the day.
00:13:19.990 --> 00:13:34.870
And if nothing else, they can have comfort and stability in another world because this one sets up much more barriers for us. Yes, 100%. This world doesn't change. Right. Always safe.
00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:52.480
So when we talk about activities that children do, you talked about more volume and more volume and things were loud in the house. And then I know I get upset when it gets like that. And then I get louder and more discipline comes out of my mouth.
00:13:53.039 --> 00:15:59.379
But a lot of the games that kids play and the way that they escape are very overstimulating, not very relaxing. Thinking about online games, why do you think our overstimulated children need content and environments that don't demand more of our nervous systems? Lickety Pop is a world that is gentle, soothing. I imagine it's slower paced than the real world. Yes. You know, the loud and the fast that we have, we live in a world right now where everything is at our fingertips. And so we have kids that will watch a video a minute later, watch another one and another one. The expectation is more, more, more, and that's fine. But Lickety Pop is there for us to simply say soft and slow. And that tells our nervous system in a real way that we're safe and safety is where growth happens. Soft and safe allows us to breathe. There are no expectations. We're not fixing, we're not reacting, we're not running around for the next fix. And that's why I believe it allows children just to be in a quiet moment on themselves or with their caregivers or companions. And they can just be together because they're so surrounded by noise or the time. It does create a barrier or a distance. So I feel that slowing down allows us to reconnect with ourselves and with each other authentically. And Lickety Pop does follow that. Yes, we have cozy chaos, but it's a world where it slows down on the emotional level, on the relationship level, maybe the activities are fast and crazy. We do have some stories coming up where Mooch will wear edible pants because he wants to have snacks all day. And of course that can become a little bit of a disaster, things like that. But we're not talking about in relationships. And that's where I really feel Lickety Pop will help. It's genuine.
00:16:03.539 --> 00:17:11.389
You know, as caregivers, I think our first instincts are to take care of everyone else. And my thoughts are, oh, I want to buy this book for my children, my grandchildren. Why do you think we need that imagination in that world, that candy colored world of Lickity Pop, as much as the children do? To avoid burnout 100%. We need it because it gives us the opportunity to connect with ourselves and to take a moment from for ourselves. A lot of the time when we think we're taking a moment for ourselves, such as having a cup of coffee at the table or sitting and reading a book, we haven't really escaped in a way that allows our mind to escape. Escape the mental load that we're living in. Yes, I love a cup of coffee by the table. I love to sit and read a book. But we're in our real world right now. We really are. We still have the kids in the background or our partners in the background. We don't get to escape. And Lickety Pop is such a different world. We haven't seen it before. We're not escaping into a book that has real life connections.
00:17:11.950 --> 00:17:26.950
You know, we don't have marshmallow moles in real life. We don't have candy colored. I wish we could, but we don't. So this is a true escape where our mind can escape, but we can also feel safe. Because for caregivers, we don't always feel that we are doing the right thing.
00:17:26.950 --> 00:17:44.969
Sometimes, sometimes we feel that we're failing in a way or that we're outdated in what is that? So I feel that going into a world in Lickety Pop, there's nothing wrong with what we've done throughout the day. We can end it in a beautiful story, connect with them, but feel good about ourselves as well.
00:17:45.609 --> 00:18:13.839
So we also need that karma connection. And Lickity Pop at the end of every story has a poem specifically for whatever message that story is. And the very first book is about kindness and friends friendship, but truly it's about connection. And that's what grandparents and kids need. That's what caregivers need. At the end of the story might be for children, but the poem at the end, I have made it specifically for adults and I think it will resonate with them more than the kids.
00:18:14.239 --> 00:18:17.279
So that's why I say this book truly is for both generations.
00:18:18.479 --> 00:19:04.829
I have to say, my husband loves watching the kids movies and Disney as much as he enjoys regular TV when he watches it. Why is it we feel so much guilt or shame when we admit that we need to escape into these imaginary worlds? I know. And it's just built into how we're perceived in society. I feel we've been taught, and I may be generalizing, that rest must be earned. That imagination looks like like rest. And so we're a little bit ashamed of it. We think that choosing quiet is radical. It's laziness. It's not real life parenting. And, and this was the hardest part for me. This is what generated me to create this world. Reality needed me.
00:19:04.829 --> 00:19:12.029
How dare I step away into fantasy for that moment? How can I? But then that belief is what burnt me out.
00:19:12.429 --> 00:20:04.750
And when I stepped back, I realized that imagination is not avoiding reality. It's how we rest so we can face that day in the best way possible for us and for the people who rely on us. So when we parallel our needs with our children's needs and the kids needs, we realize we both need this. It's not exclusive to one person or one generation. If you went back to the CEO role that you had before you began writing, how would you redesign the office space or the classrooms or the doctor's office, the dentist's office? I love that you asked this question because the very first thing that I did, I still have my CEO office because it's where I the most productive.
00:20:05.229 --> 00:20:38.629
And the very first thing that I did when I went into Lickity pop and I love this world is I threw throughout my old high black back office chair. I don't know if you can notice. I can see your chair. I bought this most comfortable pink fluffy chair that spoke to me and I threw away all the conventions and I bought what made me feel good in this space. And the other thing that I did was I decluttered. It's easy to forget what your eyes see on an everyday basis, but because you become blind to it, you skim over it.
00:20:39.109 --> 00:20:46.229
So this was a very work heavy space. And for classrooms, especially for kids, a lot of classrooms have harsh lighting.
00:20:46.549 --> 00:20:50.309
They have set spaces for learning and we have a kid space for toys.
00:20:50.309 --> 00:20:56.909
But the first thing I did is I changed the lighting for the moods that I was in. If I was in a high stress meeting.
00:20:56.909 --> 00:21:33.329
Of course I need a certain light. And for kids, some aspects of learning need a certain lighting. However, I would have an option for not harsh lighting, softer lighting, cozy. I also created a very small space for a cozy, safe sanctuary. I think this would be perfect for anyone. No matter what space you have, your office or a classroom, I would create a cozy corner, a true sanctuary. I don't throw homework, I don't throw work there. I don't throw loud toys or TVs or noise. There's no demands. I can sit if I wanted to and be totally safe and quiet.
00:21:33.329 --> 00:21:46.769
And I feel that we all need that, especially kids that don't have stability right now or they have a fear of uncertainty. A safe, predictable routine would be amazing in a little cozy corner like that. I think would help.
00:21:48.129 --> 00:22:21.509
Thanks, Ellie, so much. Thank you so much, Laura. It was a privilege to be on. I Hope you'll visit liggetypop.com where you can explore the brand pre order dibs, the Dragon and the Marshmallow Rescue and the Cozy Magic coloring book and learn more about the world that Ellie has created today. Won't you try to take a breath? Look around your boardroom. Is it a place that demands more from you or a place that offers you peace? Ellie reminds us that we're allowed to prioritize calm over chaos.
00:22:22.419 --> 00:22:25.539
Wonder isn't avoidance. It's essential maintenance.
00:22:26.419 --> 00:22:47.699
So here's your lickity pop minute tonight before the midnight call of bedtime chaos. Find one way to lower the sensory input in your home. Dim the lights, put away the screens, and choose a story that whispers. See if the big feelings in the room begin to soften when you stop trying to outroar them.
00:22:50.009 --> 00:23:30.849
Join us next week as we move from the world of sanctuary into the mechanics of the emotional motherboard. We'll be joined by Bonnie Butler, a master life coach who's navigated the complexities of 10 children and 17 foster placements. We're going to discuss the ultimate tool for the invisible CEO, thought management, and how to lead yourself through the storm when the calendar feels like it's winning. You are the keeper of the future, and your presence is the most sacred thing your family has. We're 2.7 million strong, still nurturing and still here. I'm Laura Brazan, and I'll see you in the next boardroom.
