Heal Your Story, Empower Their Future: A Grandparent's Guide to (Re)Parenting

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Prepare for a truly transformative conversation with Lisa Watson, a life coach, conscious parenting expert, and author dedicated to empowering generations from within. Lisa's journey from a traumatic childhood to healing and transformation has led her to create the powerful Re Parent Yourself method. Have you ever felt certain patterns repeating in your family or found yourself reacting in ways that don't quite serve you or your grandchildren?

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Lisa, a PhD candidate in integrative health medicine, specializes in helping adults heal past trauma and reprogram the subconscious mind to break free from limiting beliefs. Join us as Lisa shares her bold and straightforward insights on inner child healing, how to cultivate self empowerment, and model truly empowering behaviors for the children in your life. What does it mean to reparent yourself, and how can this process fundamentally transform your relationships and foster emotional intelligence for generations to come? Tune in for vital insights and practical strategies that will help you heal, quarantine, grow, and build a future grounded in love and empowerment for your family.

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Welcome to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Nurturing Through Adversity. In this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of Grandparents Raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.

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We'll discuss how we can change the course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles this podcast was made especially for you.

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Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your expression, experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.

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If you've been listening to our episodes from the very beginning, you've heard me say many times that I thought when we brought these kids home to live with us that all of a sudden they would be transformed from the wild little animals they were to to sweet, polite children with manners who said yes Grandma and no Grandma.

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But what I didn't know was that we were about to embark on a wild journey that not only involved them adapting to this alien world they'd walked into, but I was going to be relearning how to parent children who triggered every fear, anger and resentment I had. That's why today's conversation with Lisa Watson is so incredibly important.

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Today I'm honored to welcome Lisa Watson, a transformational life and conscious parenting coach and a children's book author. Lisa is truly dedicated to empowering generations from within and her work is incredibly relevant to all of us. Navigating the complexities of family Life as a PhD candidate in integrative health Medicine and the creator of the powerful Reparent Yourself method, Lisa specializes in helping people achieve personal transformation through subconscious reprogramming and the vital process of reparenting themselves.

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Lisa empowers individuals to heal from trauma, enhance their relationships and cultivate essential self empowerment skills, all while focusing on the profound importance of inner child healing. Through her unique approach, she guides adults to break free from limiting beliefs, allowing them to model truly empowering behaviors for the children in their lives, fostering emotional intelligence and self awareness in the next generation. As the founder of Awaken the One and author of engaging Children's books, Lisa is deeply committed to transforming family dynamics and in turn, collective consciousness.

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With her bold and straightforward style, she makes complex topics like communication and boundaries incredibly accessible and relatable and inspiring others to direct their energy toward positive, lasting change.

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Lisa, your personal story is so powerful and an important one, I think, for our listeners to hear. Can you share with us briefly how your experience, particularly growing up as a Gen X child and with a single alcoholic mother and navigating personal trauma, ignited your passion for the work you're doing today?

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Absolutely. It seems so many of us have grown up with trauma and disempowering beliefs and it's why I do the work that I do. I don't think I'm quite different than most people, to be perfectly honest, although I do feel my childhood was fairly traumatic.

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But as I'm learning, so are most people's childhood.

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And how it really brought me to the work that I do today is because we are products of our environment.

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I believe that we're spiritual beings housed in these beautiful avatar bodies and we're just having an experience here on Earth. And our brain is our operating system to this avatar.

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And so that operating system has to be downloaded. And what I've discovered is downloaded in that first seven years of childhood when we're in a basically a hypnotic state and a theta brainwave state, downloading our subconscious programming. It's how this body works that first seven years. The prefrontal cortex isn't developed, we just have the amygdala brain and we're downloading our entire belief systems based on the experiences that we have in the words that we hear in the model behavior that we see. And so that saying, you know, the apple doesn't fall from far from the tree is absolutely true. You're going to become a product of your environment. So because of the way that I was raised in, you know, with fear based programming, disempowering program, you know, scarcity mindset, things like that, not feeling safe, I created a reality for me that was a perfect reflection of that. And I ended up getting married to someone who was narcissistic in a controlling relationship where I was, you know, basically I created an environment that was equal to what my nervous system was already used to. We tend to attract relationships that feel normal to us, that feel like homeostasis, even if they're not healthy, even if they're abusive. It's just the way that these avatar works. They want to go back to homeostasis.

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So I was in that relationship for over 28 years. I knew that it wasn't the best relationship for me. But like a lot of women, women that I help now navigate these things, you know, we don't, it's about our kids and we're sacrificing and we believe we're, you know, supposed to put ourselves last and we don't want to break up the family and just all these reasons why we don't show up for ourselves. And finally after 28 years in this relationship, my kids had graduated from college and I was like, enough's enough.

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And then I just became super passionate about my own life, wanting to live my best life. And what I realized was that it was the subconscious programming that was creating my reality. So I went on a quest to figure out what that was. I went back to school. I got lots of certifications in many different things. Two life coaching certifications, Neuro linguistic programming, Reiki, like you name it, I've studied it. Going back to school to get my PhD in integrative health medicine. I studied child development. I started nannying and teaching conscious parents so I could learn more about children and the way their brains actually develop. Because I understood that this is where it all started. And so now in my coaching practice I help adults, mainly women is who I focus on.

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But I have lots of male clients as well. But really rebooting that system, basically we go back in and we discover what all those belief systems were, what those programs were, the self talk, what you're saying that your mother said to you, that your father said to you, that society told you was true, that are really all lies. And we use what's called, I've developed this thing called the reparenting method. And I use the reparenting method to reprogram the subconscious mind and then I also write children's books. My first one came out last week. It's called Courage Finds His Calm. And I do that to help provide tools for the next generation so that we're teaching our children the skills that they need about feeling safe in their emotions, feeling safe to express themselves, you know, personal power, just getting rid of those disempowering belief systems about ourselves. And.

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And so I create that through books. I have over 39 children's books planned. So, you know, I'm working on the adults on one side, but we got to think about the next generation also, and we have to stop the madness, basically. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's what I do now. Well, that's why I'm excited to have you here on the show, because I notice as a grandparent raising grandchildren, all those limiting beliefs that come up for me, and as I want to leave a greater legacy for my grandchildren, I'm trying to relearn, reparent myself through the process of reparenting them. Yes.

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So you talk about helping adults break free from limiting beliefs. Can you give us an example of a common limiting belief that grandparents might carry on from their past, maybe from their original parenting experiences, or even from childhood traumas that could be unconsciously impacting their relationship with their grandchildren?

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The one that comes to mind, the strongest one that I want to mention. And there are many. There's so many limiting beliefs, whether it's, you know, scarcity beliefs, beliefs about time. But the one that I really want to talk about is the one that women mainly carry, which is this belief that we're responsible for other people's emotions. And I think that that belief alone, whether it's even. Even in men, too, are taught it, but mainly women, that we're responsible for how other people feel and that we have to change the way that we are. And we're not allowed to show up as our authentic self and do what we want to do if it impacts how someone else may feel about it. So we're taught to abandon our own self in order to make other people feel comfortable. And this can come back and bite us in a lot of different ways, but when it comes to parenting, we tend to carry on those beliefs. We teach those things through model behavior without even realizing it. So we may say things to our kids or grandkids, for example, like, you know, go give mommy a hug goodbye, or go give grandma or grandpa hug. And it's like, I don't want to give grandpa hug. Oh, go give grandpa hug, or you might hurt his feelings. So what we're doing is we're teaching our kids that what you want in your needs aren't valid. Yeah. And we're not listening to you. What's important is how someone else feels. And so it's just little subtle things like that.

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Or, you know, we get mad at our children because they didn't appease our emotions because we were taught that they're supposed to do that. So we take things personally. Or we say things to our kids like, you know, you hurt my feelings when you did that. Or, you know, do this for me because it makes me sad, or it will make me mad, or, you know, grandpa's going to be upset. Don't do that. And when we use this language, what we're teaching the next generation is do not be your authentic self. You are not safe to be our authentic self. Don't even be honest with your own self and others, because you just need to make sure everyone else feels comfortable. And I really think that that's the trickiest one of all. I noticed that myself. And I have to consciously, when I'm talking to my granddaughter, say, you'd make me so happy if you put that dress on today. You know, it's. I'm not saying that bribery isn't a terrible thing at times, but I am saying that when I talk about her feelings, if she wants to wear something, then.

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And if I think for some reason it's not appropriate, or if it might be too hot, then I'll say, I want you to be aware that it's very hot outside. And if you put three layers of clothing on, you might be uncomfortable. But that's your choice. Right. It's really about wording it for them, like asking them just a question, like, do you think you're going to be cool enough in that. I think it's going to be 90 today. Do you think you'll be cool enough? And if they say, yeah, I think I'll be cool enough. You know what? You let them wear it and you let experience teach them. Kids absolutely have to learn through experience. As much as it. Like, our logical minds want to believe that if our kids would just listen to us and do what they say, we could save them so much trouble. But the reality is they don't need that. They need to have the experience. They just need us there to hold space for them as they move through it, to pick them up if they fall down, if it's safe. You know, there's obviously some unsafe situations if they're going to go out into the woods. On a hike and they don't put gloves on, they might get frostbite. Then I'm going to tell them, bring your gloves. Maybe you should bring your gloves just in case. I really don't want them. Well, put them in your pocket because you might change your mind later, you know. But it's always. Yeah, making sure that they understand that they can trust themselves.

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It's about teaching your children to listen and trust yourself. And even if you get it wrong the first time, allow that experience to teach you. And then they feel so much better. It's like intrinsically they then want to do things because they learned from their own experience and they're choosing to do it. They're not doing it out of fear of being told, you have to do this or you should do it, or only smart people do that, or that would just be dumb if you did that. We shame them into a decision. It's just like you're a child. You're here to play in this playground and learn, and I'm here to protect you.

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And kind of like hold these bumpers. Let's just throw the jacket in the car. You don't want to put the shoes on. Okay, I'm going to carry them to the car and at least bring it. What's that saying? It's better to have it if you don't need it than need it when you don't have it kind of thing. Right. Teaching something like that.

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Right? Yes. Yes. One of the things that I notice as I'm re parenting myself is having to get comfortable with expressing my feelings because I might be concerned that I'm hurting someone else's feelings. But there's also ways that I'm learning that I can say that instead of it having to come out like garbage, you know, like it's learning to be kind, but also to be true to oneself.

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Exactly. You don't have to be nice. I was never taught that.

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I was never taught that. Most people aren't taught that. And that's what this reparenting process is about. It's literally scrapping everything and saying to yourself, okay, I was lied to. Like, everything I was told about myself and my beliefs or who I was, if I was worthy or deserving, it was all a lie. I was perfect the whole time. Like, I used to. Like to use the example that, you know, imagine a small child, a baby born into, you know, this affluent, emotionally regulated, stable, safe family, okay?

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And then you have a baby that's born into, you know, poverty, drug addiction, violence, and. And you Got these two babies born on the same day and they're sitting there. Are both babies equally as deserving and innocent and capable?

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Absolutely. Absolutely. So the only thing that changes it over time is the programs that they were exposed to, the belief systems that they were taught about themselves. What, what is worthy, what is deserving, what's inevitable. And you're going to grow up believing that it's inevitable to grow up similar to your caregivers that are around you. If they're affluent and they speak well and they communicate and there's not a lot of friction, it's inevitable that that's the way you're going to grow up. If you're only exposed to violence and shame and scarcity, then it becomes inevitable to that avatar, oh, this is how I'm going to grow up. And you do. And so the reparenting process is going back and saying, we thought we were told we were, that that was modeled for us, but that was a lie. We are just as capable now. Maybe it's going to take us more work now because we have to program these beliefs into our avatar that this other avatar already had. But this isn't about, this isn't a comparing game. This is about experiences. And what I love is that you bring the word love into it because it isn't just about blurting out how you feel.

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It isn't just about disregarding other people's feelings. It's about considering as well as sharing with love. It's. It's about personal responsibility. Is the way that I see it that we have to understand that our parents are innocent, our grandparents are innocent. They did the best that they could based off of the programs and the model behaviors and the belief systems that they had. They literally, even if they did a really horrible job and abandoned you or abused you, they honestly did the best that they could with the programs, the traumas and the belief system that they had. It's not about them. We have to, as adults, we have to simply decide, I need to take responsibility for the programs that were downloaded into this avatar. I didn't put them back because I can. Right? Because you can. And when you realize, wow, I'm actually the programmer of this vehicle, that's pretty cool. We own this most incredible, like, I think of it like a computer system. This is a trillion dollar car you have here. Like, it's really incredible.

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And when you take responsibility and you're like, oh, wow, this is a super machine I have. It just has some bad programs I need to get rid of, like you Know, it just needs a little bit of an overhaul. Like, we. We should be so excited to have this body and have this brain. Amen.

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And then also, I think about how just speaking about this to these kids opens up their mind to the concept, because they're really our future. They're the ones that are going to take this ball and run with it. Run with it. And think of what if you had that as a tool when you were 6 years old or 8 years old or 9 years old, how much richer and fuller our lives can be. And when this amazing brain of ours is functioning the way it was designed to, what we can do with that. And it's really all about the beliefs. Beliefs are what structure our reality. Because it has been proven through quantum physics that we live in a holographic reality that the eyes don't actually see. They're actually projecting a reality out there.

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And so what it is that we're projecting is a combination of the frequency that we hold because everything is energy, and the beliefs that we have of what we believe will be inevitable. We literally create the structure based on what we believe. We'll see. If we believe that there's scarcity and money is hard to come by and that, you know, money doesn't grow on trees and you have to work really, really hard for it.

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That will be the experience you have. If you were raised to believe that money comes easily and effortlessly. I can make it in so many different ways. It will. And you can see that in the world. Some people attract money super easily and other people have a really difficult time with it. Same with relationships or with health or, you know, with education. It's really your belief about it. But the thing is that these beliefs are on a subconscious level. They're not the loudest thoughts in our mind always.

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So the way that we. Scary if your mind could talk. Right?

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And it does. The first step is awareness. You have to listen to the thoughts. You have to pay attention to the subtle little feelings. You have to really tap in and tune into, what do I really believe about money? Because all of us want to say, oh, no, I believe that I can be rich and I should be rich, and I have.

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But when you start sitting with, how do you really feel about it? You know, what do you really believe about it? Like, I'm just using money as an example because it's such a big belief that we all have, and there's so many different ones. But it's a great example. Like, I've done some work around my thoughts about money. And I sat with it and I realized, like, what I grew up with my mother. I grew up with no money at all.

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I'm the youngest of eight. My mother was an alcoholic. We barely had enough money to get by. But my mother always talks so poorly about it. Like that people who had money were somehow bad people and that we just weren't worthy or deserving. We weren't lucky enough. But every time she talked about people with money was almost like, yeah, like, you know, they're snotty or there's something wrong, you know. So you grow up with this belief you want money, but then there's a part of you that's fighting against that because you're like, well, good people don't have money. So that's when you start to realize, oh, I think I must have these underlying beliefs. And so then you start creating these mantras or affirmations that just reparent those beliefs.

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And it's like, oh no, you know, it would be good to have lots of money because we would do good things with it. Money is only a reflection of the person who has it. It's not money itself that is bad. You know, good people can have, have money. So it's just all about the stories you start telling yourself. But you have to have awareness first that there's actually maybe a belief under there that isn't serving you.

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So I could really get into this topic. I'm so interested in it. But let's talk about.

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Because now we're talking about the thoughts that are going on in our mind. How does subconscious programming work? Let's talk about that. Well, you may have heard, you know, they'll say that you only use 5% of your brain. Some people say 5%, 10%, whatever that is. And what they're talking about there is your conscious brain. Our conscious brain only has the ability to process 25 bits of information per second, where our subconscious brain can process something like 40 million bits of information per second. So the subconscious mind is the hard drive to the system. It's just, it's taking care of your breathing and your regulation. It's keeping you safe, it's keeping you in homeostasis. It's just it, it already knows that that stove is hot. You don't have to remind yourself because it learned it already. You know, you can drive your car from here to work and not even remember all those lights that you stopped at because you've done it a hundred times. And your subconscious mind is just doing it for you without you consciously having to Be aware of the thoughts that you're having. But it's truly your subconscious mind that is running 95% of the show, you know? So if you were raised to believe that you're not worthy, you're not deserving, you can never do anything right, that you're lazy, that is a subconscious belief that's just running there underneath. And you may not recognize it until you really. What happened for me is when I decided, okay, I need to start listening to myself in order to know what these subconscious thoughts are. And I remember my husband and I had gone for a drive in the fall. It was here in Colorado, and we decided to go look at the Aspen leaves turning. And we both like to just like, kind of not talk that much in the car when we're going for nice drives and stuff. So we're driving for like, really long time. It's just quiet, and we're just looking out at the pretty scenery. And I decide that I'm just going to be listening to my thoughts this whole time.

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And I don't know why. This one just really sticks out for me. But I had this thought, like, just tiny little thought, maybe I saw a house or something that I liked. And I'm like, oh, that would be nice to have that someday. Like, have something like that. And I immediately heard this other really kind of soft thought that said, yeah, but that's not gonna happen. And I.

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I was like, wait, what was that? I heard. I heard that.

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And so now I treat that like a kid in the back of the classroom that's making a comment. I'm like, hey, you in the back, stand up. Like, what did you say? Say that again louder. I'm no longer ignoring these and just letting them pass by. These are in my operating system and I want to know what the heck they are. So I'm like, you in the back, stand up. What did you say? Well, I said, well, we'd never have that. And I'm like, well, that's a lie. Why do you think you'd never have that? If you believe that, then stop trying because you literally will never have that if you believe it.

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So then that's when the re parenting process, like my whole thing kind of started where I just started really listening to these thoughts. And then every time one came up that was not in alignment with what I knew I was capable of creating, I just stopped and said, no, this isn't. This isn't the truth. So the subconscious mind is what's running 95% of the show and the way to get to it is through listening. And meditation is really a great way to start. Whether you do meditation, just driving in the car, walking around, it doesn't have to be anything other than pay attention to all the little thoughts and words that are popping up in your head at any given moment.

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What's the feeling that comes over you? Do you suddenly feel nervous?

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Do you suddenly feel agitated? You might notice that before you notice a thought. And then when you feel the agitation, tune into the thought. And then you'll realize that the thought is probably what's driving the agitation. And you don't even feel like you were the one who initiated the thought. It just came up. But when you tune into it, you'll realize, oh, that's a subconscious thought.

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I didn't even know those were running under there. And then you can start to do the reparenting process from there.

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Well, we already know that when we're healing as grandparents, when we're actively healing our own trauma, that that's going to have a positive effect on everyone in our life. Our partners, our spouses, our kids, our grandkids. You already mentioned meditation. I know that when I'm triggered, I get triggered by things that come up for these kids, because these kids experience trauma like I did my own children were. You know, I think sometimes, as every generation, we learn a little bit more. And when I go back and look at how I raised my children, I did raise, I made. I'm learning, I'm still learning, but they were raised with a lot of love and good communication.

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My grandchildren, who were neglected and abused, didn't have that. So I find myself triggered by some of the same things that happened to me when I was a child. And I'm now learning that when I get angry, I stop and go, what got triggered?

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What's that conversation I'm hearing in my mind? Because I'm learning that these children, just as we're talking about the programming, they had programming probably not dissimilar from the kind of programming I was. It was different. Every situation's different.

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But when I get angry, I find that there's one of those crazy little conversations going on there somewhere. And I'm relating not to a child, but to an adult, another adult that did something. Yeah, you're telling a story. It's all about the stories we're telling. We just. You realize you're like, what story am I telling myself about this, about this situation?

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So communication and boundaries, to me are complex topics, but they're for those of us that are. Are navigating some of these difficult conversations. Can you tell us maybe a practical strategy or an approach that we can use when these difficult conversations come out? Because we're trying to establish different kinds of relationships with these kids and different boundaries than maybe they experienced or that we experienced as children. I hear what you're saying. The strategy that really works the best with children is simply validating them. We all want to be seen and heard, and the name of the game is emotional regulation.

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All the issues that we have come truly from being dysregulated because we don't feel safe. We don't feel safe in our authenticity. Right. So the important thing to do with children is simply to validate them. So if they're frustrated at something, they're mad at something, they don't get something that they want. Okay. They're triggered because of the way that they had been treated before or whatever. All you have to do is validate them and hold space for whatever it is they're feeling, even if their. Their behavior isn't good. Like something happens and they hit the kid that they're with or whatever. Because they're frustrated. Yeah. Not shame, but validation. It's like, oh, you seem like you're really frustrated right now. Not. Don't hit. That's no good. You.

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It's more about what's going on for you. I see you and I hear you, and I'm going to help you correct this behavior. The behavior isn't the problem. It's your lack of emotional regulation and your ability to respond to your environment that's the problem. So I'm not going to punish you for behaving however you're behaving, because the real problem is you're emotionally dysregulated. So let's get to the root of that without shaming you. We're allowed to be dysregulated.

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Okay. So it's like, okay, you seem. And we all get dysregulated. Absolutely. And some of us don't behave well when we're dysregulated. But the thing that we have to understand is you cannot learn when you're in an. In actually a state of dysregulation. And as parents and adults, we do this all the time. Even when we're arguing with our spouses. We're trying to teach and tell and explain new information to someone who's not able to listen because they're not even in their right mind. Once you go dysregulated, you move into fight, flight, or freeze or fawn response. So you're not really inputting any new information. So it's just about, wow, you're really frustrated. I can see that. Like, it's okay to be frustrated, but hey, it's not okay to hit anyone else. Maybe we touch their hand or just say, it's not okay to touch anyone else. There's no shame. You're not a bad person. You're just responding. Especially children.

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Children under the age of five, their emotional brain is still being developed, you know, up through the age of seven, but especially under the age of five, their emotions or the age of 70.

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Well, yeah, well, their logical brain is. Is being formed up through the age of like 25 to 29 or something like that. But the emotional brain is being formed in those earlier years. So they literally don't know how to express things other than coming through their body. And what we typically do in these first five years is we shame. We shame children for hitting, for not saying things right, for not behaving correctly, but we're not teaching them how to do it correctly. We're not holding space and modeling that behavior. We're just saying, you're not good from the beginning. And this is where it causes a lot of problems with emotional regulation.

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So you're saying that when we acknowledge feelings, then basically what we're doing is unlocking that emotional dysregulation and allowing for a correction of foundational feelings. Well, we're just. We're allowing them to first of all acknowledge what this feeling is like.

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Oh, you have emotions. Like, there's a tingly feeling. There's a sudden adrenaline feeling. It's like we have to become aware of, like, we don't get something what we want, and suddenly we feel this way. It's. It's like, oh, wow, it looks like you're really frustrated. And we just. Once we acknowledge, oh, yeah, I guess I am really frustrated, we come back into the conscious mind and we're just saying, oh, you're really frustrated. What do you think we should do about that? This book that I wrote is about that, and it teaches a little story about a bunny, but he gets frustrated, and then the other character teaches him just to breathe, just to connect with his breath, you know? And like, it's totally okay to be frustrated. We don't need to fix it necessarily. We don't need the new toy. We don't need a cookie. We don't need any. But we need to acknowledge that we feel frustrated and just breathe and just be like, hey, it's okay to Be frustrated. Things don't always work out. What I hate is when someone tells us we shouldn't be angry because that's just unrealistic, right? So kids are going to get frustrated, we're going to get frustrated. We're not always going to be able to handle things calmly. But as you said, it depends on how we're acknowledged. And we need to acknowledge our feelings, because that's the base of a lot of dysfunction. The one that I hear all the time. I just heard this the other day, so it's fresh in my mind. And, I mean, I hear it all the time. Just out in stores, walking in public. I heard a little boy or girl I didn't even know got hurt somehow. And I just heard the father say, oh, you're okay. It wasn't a big deal.

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Right? So what you're saying is your feelings aren't valid. You're telling me you're hurt, you're crying, you're upset at what happened, and I'm gonna negate. Basically, we're being narcissistic and we're gaslighting them, saying, your reality doesn't exist to me, you're fine. It shouldn't be a big deal to you.

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And that is a subtle thing. But what we're doing subtly is we're programming this avatar, this being who's being programmed in these first eight years to not trust themselves, to disconnect from their authenticity, to disconnect from their emotions and their own feelings. What we need to be saying is, oh, I bet that hurt.

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How does it feel now? Are you okay? I usually say to a kid, when they hurt themselves, I'm like, oh, yeah, I bet that hurts. I'm like, it'll, like, in a minute. I promise it's gonna go away. Like, I know it really does hurt for, like, that first minute, but it's gonna go away. Like, and you get in the experience with them. Like, feel it with them. Like, you're safe, though. Like, you could be bleeding, or it could be like, you hit your funny bone and it really hurts. It's like, oh, I know.

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That does really hurt. And you just are there with them. Like, you're safe to feel pain. You're safe to be cold. You're safe to be hot. You're safe to be angry.

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You're safe to be sad. Let's sit and feel what that feels like in it. Like, I learned pain management when I was, like, 15 through this. This exercise, and it has served me well in my whole life, actually. I have extremely high Tolerance for pain, probably because of it. But the technique they taught is you don't resist the pain. You move with it. Ended up having two natural childbirths, too. I was able to have my kids, and I'm sure it had a lot to do with it, because instead of fighting against the pain, like, oh, I don't want this. This is so terrible. You move into the pain and you actually experience. Experience what that feels like. So if you hit your elbow sitting, like, oh, that just hurts. And you're trying to, like, get away from your own body, you actually focus on that feeling and you move into it, and it. And your body naturally tells you what to do. If you're listening, right? If you tune into it, you do. You tune into it, and then it actually doesn't feel as bad as you thought when you're like, oh, it feels kind of hot, or it feels sort of tingly.

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And you can start to actually experience it as being something that isn't so terrible. And so that's what we're doing for children. We acknowledge their emotions, whether they're sad that, you know, they don't get to have the cookie, or we have to leave the park. You know, I have parents that I coach sometimes are like, I just got so frustrated. We were at the beach for five hours, and we go to get in the car, and he's just complaining that we have to go. And I'm like, we've been at the beach all day. I've been playing with you. I've done this, I've done that. And now you're upset. Upset. And I'm like, what? What's the problem? Like, why can't he be upset for leaving the beach? Even if he'd been there for 50 days in a row? Like, he really liked it.

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That should be a compliment by. Yeah, I bet you really are upset to leave the beach. We did have such a great time today. Acknowledge it.

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You know, it's just like, they're not disrespecting you, but as you said in the beginning, we're triggered through the things that we experienced. If our parents spoke to us that way, then we're going to speak to our children that way. If we were never allowed to express our emotions and our parents got mad at us, when our kids or grandkids try to do it or they complain, we're like, it's like our little inner child is competing with them. We're like, hey, I was never allowed to act like that as a kid. How dare you? And that's really the energy that's coming with it, when you sit with it, you realize your inner child is just jealous. It's like, I have heard that voice in me. Yes.

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Well, and let's talk about Awaken the one children's books, the collection that you've written.

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How do you find that your books complement your coaching work? Well, they're just. It's two sides to the same coin.

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It really is, because I help, you know, adults, and you don't have to be a parent to reparent yourself. But when you. When I do help adults and parents, you have to reparent your own inner child to become a better parent. And so the books that I write are just tools in order to assist you in doing that. So, you know, teaching you to be compassionate with your own emotions and your own feelings, and then having a book that tells a story that helps you to teach that to your children as well, so that we're not passing on these same belief systems to the next generation. So it's just a tool, a practical tool that you can use to help you in parenting to not pass on the same limiting beliefs and behaviors that you were taught yourself. You mentioned a bunny rabbit in the book you were just showing me. So you use animals as well? Yeah. This book, it's called Courage Finds His Calm.

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Courage is the main character. All the characters are named after children that I nannied. Courage is actually the name of a child, and Callahan is his, like, mentor. And so there's. So there's Courage and there's Callahan.

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And Courage has a little issue with his sandcastle falling down. He gets upset, and Callahan just teaches him his breath. And one of my favorite pages in the book is your breath is your anchor. You never can lose it. All you have to do is stop and choose it. It's a rhyming book.

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I've read this book like, 12 or 15 times in a row the past few days. I've been doing a book tour at bookstores, reading for story time. And honestly, I never get tired of reading it. My illustrator's been doing it with me, and she said that she's like, you're on, like, the 11th time in a row reading that. And she's like, and I never get tired of hearing it. It's just so calming. It is. It just rolls off your tongue. And I did a lot of research before writing this book, and I have plans for many, many more. They're all based off the law of one. This book is about mindfulness.

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But I also am writing books that Teach about our energetic body, the neural pathways in our brain, subconscious mind. There's just like community, love, heart centered stuff. Just everything that you know, you would want your kids to learn when they're little.

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That's awesome. I can't wait to read them. I can't wait to read that one.

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They're available on Amazon. They're available wherever you get books. Yeah, Barnes and Noble, Amazon. You can order it today. It's available.

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Well, I love your mission, Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing.

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I'll be sure to put the links in the show notes for the reparent yourself method. Where can we find that on the Internet? So my website for reparenting coaching is reparent-yourself.com and my book website is awakentheone.org and then I'm on social media but there's links in my reparent yourself to my social media like Instagram and TikTok accounts. Great. We'll put those in the show notes. Any key advice or messages you want to leave with the listeners today. Be kind to yourself. Really pay attention to your self talk and remember that there's an inner child in there and she's waiting for you to come to her and reparent her. She's waiting for you. Great advice.

00:42:36.519 --> 00:42:44.079
Thank you so much, Lisa. Thank you. Today's conversation with Lisa Watson was a powerful one and it's a lot to take in.

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So I thought I'd go over some key takeaways, takeaways for us today.

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Understand your own inner child triggers. Lisa emphasized that our adult reactions are often triggered by unhealed wounds or limiting beliefs formed in our own childhoods. So start noticing your intense emotional reactions. When you feel a surge of frustration, anger or fear, ask yourself, where have I felt this before?

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That's the first sign step of self awareness and the first step to healing. To begin reparenting yourself with compassion. It's not about blaming ourselves or blaming our past or people in our past, but giving your inner child the understanding, love and validation it may have missed. And when you heal yourself, you model healthier emotional responses.

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Number three, Break limiting beliefs through the subconscious. Reprogramming our subconscious minds holds deep seated beliefs that shape our reality and actions. And we can change these beliefs to create a more empowering environment. Identify those beliefs, replace them with an empowering affirmation. Write it down if you need to and say it to yourself daily. For example, if I'm not patient enough, try I'm growing in patience every day. Or I am capable of handling challenges with calm Number four Model healthy communication and boundaries as you heal and grow, your interactions with your grandchildren will naturally become more authentic and effective. Instead of you always try, I feel when this action happens because whatever your need is or why it matters to you, just communicate your experience without blame. Be clear. Be kind Again.

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By focusing on healing your own story, you're not only transforming your life, but you're laying powerful foundations for your grandchildren's future. Today's conversation with Lisa Watson offered profound insights into how our own inner worlds shape the lives of the children we love. Understanding the Reparent Yourself method and embracing inner child healing can truly transform your family's dynamics for generations to come. What resonated most with you from this discussion? Did a particular point about subconscious programming or reprogramming or breaking limiting beliefs spark a new understanding for you?

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What's one small reparenting step you're inspired to take for yourself this week? The conversation doesn't end here. Share your reflections, questions or experiences on our social media or website. Let's create a supportive space where we can all learn and grow together. And if you know another grandparent or parent who could benefit from healing their story to empower their grandchildren's future, please share this episode with them. Together we can foster a world grounded in love and empowerment.

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And as we do that important inner work, we also need the foundational energy to sustain it. So let's talk about something many of us are desperately lacking. Sleep.

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Next week on episode 78, prepare for a vital discussion with Allison Ejidi, a certified pediatric sleep coach and host of the How Long till Bedtime Podcast, Alison shares her deeply personal story from a sleep deprived parent to a passionate expert revealing how she helps countless families finally get the restorative rest of the they need. Are you and your grandchildren running on empty?

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What if you could solve those sleep struggles from infancy through elementary school with practical, compassionate strategies?

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Join us as Alison shares her expertise so both kids and caregivers can get the rest they need to thrive.

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Thank you for tuning in to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Nurturing through Adversity. Remember, you are not alone. Together we can find strength and hope in the face of adversity.

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Peace be with you, and I pray that you find some time this week to listen to your inner wisdom amongst the noise and the pandemonium of this world.